Learning New Skills

I find it interesting that so many ftms and butch women just grew up knowing how to build, how to play sports, how to talk tough and how to fall off a skateboard going 20mph down a hill, and then get back up and try again. In fact, I've never had the guts to just jump on a skateboard to go down a hill that fast in the first place, for fear of the previous scenario. I am learning though. I learn to take more risks in my life, I've learned the difference between a phillips and a flathead which is more than I can say for myself five years ago. I even built some shelves, and I've become increasingly better at identifying tools, and following my boss' directions for construction projects. I now rarely have to ask when looking for tools what said tool might look like. This is a start, for me. When I was a kid I was rarely called upon to help my dad, or play with tools, because in all honesty, he knew less than I know now. Don't get me wrong, I had no idea how to do stereotypically girly things either. My mother never wore more than colored chapstick until she met my stepfather and if she did, I was not playing around in her makeup. Everything I learned about how to be a "girl" was from friends. I learned how to chase after boys by observing the girls in my elementary school that got the guys to be "friends" with them. At least I think that's what I thought was going on. I thought that was the only way to be friends with guys. I learned how to apply eyeliner in my eighth grade spanish class from a gorgeous brunette with long black hair who sat behind me.
I think that there should be classes for people like me. We need classes to learn how to do the things we've always wanted to do. I wanted to learn how to fix my car but got frustrated with my dad because I didn't feel he was an expert on the subject, I didn't want help from my ex-boyfriend, now best friend because I felt I should already know this stuff and felt to "girly" asking for help. Now I observe and slowly learn to do projects on my own. I watch the guys at work and ask questions. Maybe that's the key, you have to pay enough attention so that they want to teach you.

Now that I've changed the oil on one of the work trucks and the van I think I could handle my own car. I can recognize brake lines, brake pads and filters. I can change the oil and air filters, check all the fluids, rotate the tires, and put a vehicle on a lift. And this is all one giant step up from a month ago when all I knew about my car was that it's a manual transmission and I could check the oil, and add water/oil if I remembered to check.

I wish I would have asked more questions earlier, but I think I've finally taken my training wheels off of my life. I moved across country on my own and I'm learning to ask questions I never had the courage to before. The more knowledge I have, the more knowledge I want, the more knowledge I receive.

Or, you know, something along those lines. Was that even what this blog was about?




Currently Reading: Loose End by Ivan E. Coyote