If almost every ftm in the industrialized world refers to their childhood and knowing that they were supposed to be born male in terms of "playing with trucks and climbing trees," what's going to happen to the next generation of tomboys, of girls who are perfectly happy, or at least tolerant, of their "womanly" parts? Or for that matter those who are ftm but never really understood the hyper-masculine identifications of their fellow men.
Every article that I seem to read, or autobiography, or youtube channel... whatever, most talk about playing sports, working on cars, the hyper-masculine of our society. The problem with this is that's it. Is it all just a function of society? Breaking barriers in order to conform? And yet it cannot be solely that, because obviously we have cases of transexuals and transgendered people all over the world, different cultures and different ethnic groups.
I am in no way accusing those people who are transitioning of simply taking an easy road, what I am suggesting though is that we need to re-examine why the individual is transitioning. I think the individual needs to think about their childhood... But more in terms of which bathroom did I want to use? did I question why my penis hadn't grown yet? Experts believe that you know your gender by a very early age, as early as two, and many transexuals can recall feeling the difference from the very beginning of their lives. Just because a man played with dolls as a child doesn't mean they're going to grow up gay, or transgendered. Just because a female runs around without her shirt on or plays with trucks all day, or prefers helping her dad fix the car, then help her mom clean the house... doesn't mean the opposite is true. In some cases, absolutely, it can be an indicator, but it shouldn't be taken as the end-all. If it is, then we're going to be stuck with a very gendered, and quite frankly, boring, world. This could regress society into the "female/male" roles when obviously that's not what we want.
If we focus on our society and the western world, we see a very gendered world. When people break the gendered norm it is at the very least, taken note of. But what about in other cultures?
Cultures where it is normal for men to be the emotional ones, the ones who do the caretaking and women are the warriors and the bread winners? Or societies where there is in a equal balance? What about societies where men wear makeup and women do not? Would some people who identify as ftm here in our society, feel comfortable as a woman in that society? Does it matter? Should I even be asking the questions? I have no idea.
What scares me is that really awesome, accepting, caring parents may push a child one way or the other. Push a young child to make decisions they may not be ready to make. Not to say that all children can't make the decisions, because some can. Obviously if a child is continuously asking when their penis is gonna grow, or vice versa, their breasts, then you might want to start paying attention... But just because they're more interested in the tow truck then the easy-bake, I wouldn't do anything too drastic. I believe it needs to be the individual's own journey.
If you read my blog, or watch my youtube videos, you know I've had an interesting journey with my personal gender over the past year, and I don't believe it's over. I think gender is much more fluid than we would like to believe. Currently, as in this second, I identify as a somewhat butch lesbian/dyke who binds, who sometimes passes as a man, who won't correct you no matter what pronouns you use, who has only played softball once, who plays mother to all friends and is overprotective of them, who knit a baby blanket for her godson, who loves kayaking and being outdoors. I don't like binaries. I think they're boring and somewhat old fashioned. I'm a feminist. I like it when you call me "sir." I fit some stereotypes and shoot some in to miniscule pieces. I'm me.
This is just the beginning of this entry. I'm sure I'll add more in the future. Feel free to add your thoughts.
